


The Precarious Intent of Goodbye

by ThePreciousHeart



Category: The Adventures of Priscilla Queen of the Desert (1994)
Genre: Bittersweet, Families of Choice, Friends to Lovers, Goodbyes, M/M, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-02
Updated: 2017-01-02
Packaged: 2018-09-14 06:29:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,660
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9166060
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThePreciousHeart/pseuds/ThePreciousHeart
Summary: A year and a half after the trip to Alice Springs, Benji is ready to return to his mother. Adam is put out about this, not only because he's never enjoyed parting with people, but also because he's unsure of where he and Tick stand as partners.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I spent a lot more time than I should have on this fic, going over every line to make sure it sounded right. That said, if there are any parts that don't sound right (such as the characters' distinct but hard to imitate voices), please let me know! The overall tone might be a little too sentimental, but that's just how I write. Sweet stuff is what I love the most.

       “Goodbye” is not a word found in Adam Whiteley’s vocabulary. He’s never had a knack for saying it. After a rousing night of hitting every hopping joint in town, he’s known to stumble back home with a “See ya later, darlings.” He sees his conquests off in the morning with “Feel free to call anytime, sweetheart.” And when temporary friends pack their bags and move on to another town, the most he can force out is, “Don’t be a stranger!” Of course, ignoring them works just as well.

       “Goodbye” just sounds so final, so _permanent._ Like the dot at the end of a sentence. Adam’s always preferred to end with a semicolon, leaving the future open for possibility. If he never sees the person again… that’s no fault of his, and usually it’s no big loss.

        Saying goodbye to Bernadette proves surprisingly difficult. After all they’ve been through together, Adam is horrified to realize that he’s quite fond of the old girl. It’s not that he ever truly _disliked_ her. Though she can be a stick-in-the-mud, she’s a legend in the business, which he has got to respect. But now she’s seen him at his lowest point, all beaten and disheveled, eye makeup smeared and wig discarded. She’d embraced him, and actually _encouraged_ him, even though Adam had done nothing but rile her up the whole trip to Alice. So it feels… weird to say goodbye to Bernadette, now that they’ve shared that little moment. The minute she announces she’s staying, Adam feigns disgust and hikes off to the bus, taking Benji with him as a distraction. When Priscilla takes off, he’s able to distance himself through the use of her old name. “Bye, Ralph!” He turns his back before he can watch her disapproving face shrink in the distance.

        Almost immediately upon returning to Sydney, Tick announces that it’s time for them to do the ABBA show. Naturally, Adam is over the moon. He begins spending more and more time at Tick’s place, in order to get in some extra hours of practice. Then Tick asks him to look after Benji, and how can he turn down that offer? The kid adores him, and though Adam won’t admit it, the feeling is mutual. He starts coming around at odd hours, on the pretense that Tick can use some help in his attempt at being a proper father, but after Tick enrolls Benji in school, the excuses get flimsier. The first day Adam turns up unexpectedly on Tick’s doorstep, he tells him that he needs some space away from his overbearing mother, but when Tick sees through that he decides to hell with explanations. Trying to think of a new one every day is a pain.

       The ABBA show goes over extremely well. The audience is astonishingly well-behaved, which could be a result of the freely-flowing drinks, but Adam likes to believe that the sheer majesty of his beloved Swedish songstresses has united everyone. Benji’s content to lend a hand as a lighting assistant, and looks pleased as punch to see the show at last. Most importantly, Tick is happier than Adam’s ever seen him. Upon exiting the stage, confetti swirling in their wake, they fall into each other’s arms, dissolving into joyful, raucous laughter. The warm glow that saturates Adam for once has nothing to do with alcohol or sex.

       The next morning, Adam wakes up in Tick’s bed, with Tick slumbering soundly beside him, sprawled naked between tangled sheets. At first Adam’s confused as to why he’s not hungover, and ponders his lifestyle for a moment before realizing that as far as decisions he’s made go, this seems to be a pretty good one.

       It’s not long after that he stops going home altogether.

       A year passes. Benji grows like a weed, and matures twice as fast. Bernadette announces her wedding the next summer, and they all fly out to Alice Springs for the occasion. They spend their first Christmas together. Then, shortly after Benji has completed Grade 3, Tick gets a call from Marion. Apparently a year and a half is enough time to recover from the first eight years of child-rearing. After talking with Benji, the decision is made. Leaving her hotel in the capable hands of Bob and Bernadette, Marion flies down from Alice to pick up her boy.

       If it were up to Adam, he would have preferred Marion take the long route- partly to give her a taste of the life that Priscilla had subjected him to, but also to squeeze in a few extra days with Benji. But no one asks him, so he doesn’t say a word. He spends the day helping Tick help Benji pack up, every now and then sneaking a peek at the clock. When Marion’s rental car pulls into the driveway, he pats Benji and Tick on the shoulder and slips off to the bedroom upstairs to wait out the goodbyes.

       It’s not as if he didn’t know this day was coming. Marion had said from the start that their current arrangement wasn’t intended to be permanent. A mother can’t stay separated from her child forever. But now that it’s _here_ and it’s happening, Adam feels strangely unprepared. Where in the world has the time gone?

       From the comfort of the bedroom, he can’t see Marion, but he hears her booming laugh travel through the walls and up from the floorboards. The sound of it almost brings Adam back downstairs, if only to make a few aimless jabs, but Marion’s not the sort of person who’s easily bothered. To tell the truth, her blunt demeanor scares Adam a little. He’s never met a woman so blasé about _everything._ In a way, she almost reminds him of himself.

      So he stays in his room- well, Tick’s room, really- facing the wall and trying to imprint Benji’s face onto his brain, while at the same time desperately trying not to think of him. To shut him out and forget him entirely.

       After a moment, footsteps sound on the stairs. From the very first step, Adam can tell who it is, but he ignores the sound until Tick enters the room and addresses Adam directly. He clears his throat. “Benji wants to say goodbye to you.”

       “Why should I?” Adam mutters, still staring at the wall. Despite his love for showy outfits, Tick’s a minimalist when it comes to interior decorating, which has always bothered Adam. The pale cream of the wallpaper does nothing to hold his attention. “He’s your kid, not mine.”

       _Not mine… not mine…_

“He’s known you for just as long,” Tick says. “I think it’s only fair.”

       Adam shrugs, turning slightly so that Tick can see his profile, but he doesn’t meet Tick’s eyes. “I don’t wanna go down there and have your witch of an ex-wife sink her claws into me. I’m sure she’s been sharpening them on the plane.”

       Tick lets out a breath somewhere between a sigh and a puff of laughter. “Come on, Adam, you can take whatever Marion has to say. You’re a big girl.”

        “She’ll probably bring up that time I beat her at cards last summer,” Adam says. “And the forfeit, though I’m still not sorry about that. You know what a sore loser she can be. I think it’s best I don’t show my face.”

       Rather than respond immediately, Tick steps forward. “Adam…”

       “Besides,” Adam says, trying a different tact, “I can already tell there’s going to be major waterworks. You know I hate to see you so upset, darling.” He composes a charming smile before finally looking at Tick. But when he meets Tick’s worried eyes, his smile drops.

       Tick comes over to sit gingerly on the bed beside Adam, leaving a ruler-length between them. He’s keeping his distance, like the cautious yet coy man he used to be, before hooking up with Adam.

       “You’re being ridiculous, Adam,” Tick says. “What’s this really about?”

        “Oh, you think you can psychoanalyze me?” Adam tries to tease, but his joke is missing the proper warmth and it falls flat. He sighs and looks away. “ _Well,_ dear, if you insist… I’m utterly shit at saying goodbye.”

       “I’d guessed _that,”_ Tick replies, amusement balancing out his concern. He slowly reaches over to touch Adam’s hand before softly squeezing it. Adam blinks, trying to memorize the sensation.

       “I’ve known ever since you drunk yourself stupid at Bernie and Bob’s wedding reception. A hangover’s a convenient excuse not to face them before leaving, hm?”

       “No, that one you can blame on the bartender,” Adam says flippantly. “He knew exactly when to cut me off, which was never.”

       Tick chuckles, and Adam removes his hand, clasping it in his lap and staring downwards. Almost two goddamn years he’s spent at Tick’s side- a hell of a lot more time than he’s ever put into a previous relationship. Hell, he was lucky if a relationship lasted two _months._ He’s grown so used to this, to waking up beside each other, playfully bickering throughout the day, knocking show after show out of the park and taking full advantage of every sleepover Benji’s invited to. Adam has managed to slip quite comfortably into the rhythm of Tick’s life- so why is it so hard, after all this time, to open up to him?

       _It never has been easy, has it…_

“There’s no shame in going down there, Adam,” Tick insists. “I’ll miss him just as much as you will.”

      Adam doesn’t intend to say it, but it slips out anyway- “I’ll miss you, too.”

      “What?” Tick sounds puzzled, and Adam sighs. Reluctant to spell it out, he turns to Tick and reaches for him, pulling him into a kiss. His eyes close and his fingers tenderly trace Tick’s jawline. If Adam’s fellow nightclub performers could see him now, they’d be gawking at his gentleness. Felicia is a saucy little flirt, and Adam enjoys acting out her brashness. But here in private, sitting with the man he’s known for god knows how long, there’s no need to act. Being with Tick has revealed so many facets of Adam, some that he didn’t even realize existed before.

       _Long-term lover._

_Sexual submissive._

_The Agnetha to his Frida._

_Potential father._

Adam’s shared so many positive moments with Tick, more than he could ever count, each one stored in his mind like a Polaroid snapshot. The day they left Alice Springs as a new unit, blasting ABBA and dancing while Tick tried and failed to hide his foolish grin. Their drag performances, each one more transcendent and decadent than the last. Taking care of Benji and watching him grow into an intelligent young boy. The many, many moments of doubt that Tick had experienced, when parenting got to be too much. After a rough night taking care of a sick Benji, or a nasty afternoon when Benji had come home upset that his schoolmates were insulting him for his father’s lifestyle, Tick had turned to Adam and asked forlornly if he was in over his head. _“I should have never let Marion drag me into this…”_ Every time, Adam had been there to assure Tick that he was an _excellent_ parent, as far as parents go, and if anyone had a problem he’d make sure they received a personal visit from a very pissed-off Felicia Jollygoodfellow.

_“Don’t let those half-witted dickheads’ negativity get you down, darling. No one’s gonna mess with my girl.”_

       The moment he keeps returning to is the night they’d spent together two months into their relationship, when Tick, still flushed and catching his breath, had grabbed Adam’s hands and gasped, “I love you.”

      It had taken Adam longer than he’d liked to say it back. But Tick knows he loves him now, and that should be all that matters.

      The problem is, Adam only stepped in because it was _convenient._ Tick needed someone in his life now that he had a child to raise, and with Bernadette out of the picture, Adam felt obliged to provide for him. He figured he was the next best thing to the kid’s mother. And so he’d stayed and never left.

       Even after all the time they’ve spent- even though Adam hardly ever sets foot in his mother’s house anymore except to ask for favors- even though they’ve come to know each other inside and out, sometimes even finishing each other’s sentences-

The only reason they’d gotten together, in the beginning, was Benji. And now that Benji’s leaving, Adam isn’t sure where he and Tick stand. The house will seem so much emptier- but it might not even be Adam’s house anymore. _Was it ever?_

The memories fade away as Adam breaks the kiss. He starts to pull away, but Tick stops him. His hand glides down Adam’s shoulder to his forearm, coming to a stop at the back of his hand. He looks up at Adam with a liquid blue gaze that strikes Adam to the pit of his stomach. _How dare he be more beautiful than me?_

“I’m not going anywhere,” Tick says. “So stop being such a fool and come downstairs with me. I’m going to need your help, you know, after Benji’s gone. During the adjustment period.”

        Adam nods, not ready to smile just yet, but definitely feeling lighter. “Oh, I was under the impression you’d just need a load of your good old friend, booze.”

       Tick lets go of Adam and stands up. “Of course not! He’s not going to be gone forever, you know. I can’t very well become an alcoholic when I’ve still got a son to raise.”

        “And here I was thinking you’d give up all those pretensions once he’s gone,” Adam sighs. He stands up too, shifting his weight. “Go back to those glamorous days when you and I used to parade around town until three in the morning, drunk off our arses, swirling glitter through the air…”

      Tick laughs, a strangely natural sound as he recalls the vivid memories. “We can still do that. Say the words and I’m yours.”

       “Aren’t you afraid I’ll follow you home?” Adam teases.

      He doesn’t expect Tick to fall quiet for a few seconds, and is about to come up with a different witty line, when he spies a flash of realization in Tick’s eyes. He’s computing everything Adam has said, and finally struck gold.

        “Don’t be silly,” Tick says. “You _are_ home.” He smiles, and finally Adam grins back. They depart the room hand in hand.

       Outside, Benji’s waiting by the car for Adam to give the first proper goodbye in his life. He tries to tell himself that any awkwardness is only in his imagination. Felicia Jollygoodfellow _never_ loses her cool. Ruffling Benji’s hair, Adam tells him to be good, stay in school, all that kind of responsible-adult junk. Marion’s probably laughing her ass off, but she’s already behind the wheel and he can’t see past the windshield to confirm his suspicions.

        Then Benji hugs him. It takes him off-guard for only a second, because he’s used to Benji’s hand’s-on approach. For a few seconds, he closes his eyes and lets himself enjoy the contact. Then Benji pulls away and Tick gently pushes him aside. He pulls his son into a strong hug, kissing him on the forehead before they break apart. In the past, Adam might have made a face at that. Now, he can’t find it in him to mock the scene.

        Benji gets into the car, Marion revs up the engine, and Tick slides over to Adam, who puts his arm around Tick’s waist without a second thought. Just as the car pulls out of the driveway, the window rolls down, and the pair enthusiastically shout their farewell.

       “Goodbye, Dad!” calls Benji. Then, with a smirk- “ _Bye, Felicia!”_

       _“Felicia?!”_

“You know,” Tick says thoughtfully, a smile growing on his face, “I think he takes after you.”

       Adam finds himself smiling back.

**Author's Note:**

> ...Forgive me for that "bye Felicia" joke. I couldn't resist. Anyway... hope y'all enjoyed.


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